One of the biggest problems with trying to date in DC is that everyone’s busy. Busy with work. Busy with school. Busy with social lives and current friends. I’ve recently had two experiences that have reminded me of this.
A few weeks ago, I started emailing with a guy on OkCupid. After a few messages there, he gave me his email as an easier way to continue our conversation. The email looked familiar. I checked my Gmail and sure enough, we had chatted before.
About 2.5 years ago, we met on Match.com. We had chatted for a while, and then moved the conversation to Gmail, where we spent several weeks trying to arrange our first date. It never happened because of work schedules, and other events. And then I started dating someone and we lost touch.
Now that we’d reconnected, we finally went out. The first date was nice. On the second date, I don’t think either one of us was feeling the magic. But, it took about 2.5 years from when we first met to find that out.
I met Guy #2 in January of 2009 through a mutual friend that I see occasionally. We traded information and became Facebook friends. Again, we tried scheduling a date, but conflicting calendars didn’t allow it. At some point, we stopped trying. Over the years, he’s popped up on my newsfeed and I never thought much about it, other than the fact that he’s really cute.
A few weeks ago, we ran into each other at an event, but didn’t talk. When he got home, he emailed me on Facebook and asked if I had been at the event. We chatted until a few hours past my bedtime, and set up a date for the next Friday.
It was a really nice first date. And it only took 3.5 years to happen.
Is there a solution?
If you’re single, you can’t spend all your time cruising bars and dating websites trying to meet people. But, it is so easy in DC to get caught up in all the activities of a busy urban life. So how do you resolve the conflict between wanting to meet someone and our current social lives? When you’re loving your life (and hopefully your job), how do you make sure you’re making space and time to let someone else in?
And how weird is Fate that it reconnected me with two guys within a month?
Would love to hear your comments below.
This weekend was DC Pride. It was earlier this year, yet still managed to be one of the hottest days ever. I guess mother nature likes seeing the gays with their shirts off.
I have mixed feelings about Pride. It’s great to be out and proud. It’s clear that people’s views on homosexuality (such a clinical term!) tend to be more positive if they know someone who’s LGBT. But maybe we take it too far sometimes. If you’re into leather jockstraps, great. Just not sure I need to see it on a parade float. And no one needs that much body glitter. For many, it’s just an excuse to spend the day drunk. Walking home from the grocery store at 3 pm (the parade started at 4:30), I saw one guy stumbling out of Cobalt. His friends were barely able to hold him up.
Also, Pride has become very commercialized. Several beer companies and the local banks all had cars in the parade. While it’s great that you want our business, I’d prefer if you did some lobbying on our behalf, instead of just trying to get our business. Last year there was even an Idaho Potato car in the parade!
But this year, I went in with different expectations. Instead of wondering if the images we were creating were “good” or “bad” for the community, I went in with the attitude that everyone’s there to be who they want to be. And for some, that means dancing in a leather jockstrap. I guess if you can wear leather in temperatures near 90, God bless ya.
I was thinking about this after reading a great quote at Breaking The Illusion (a blog by one of the hottest men ever!). In response to a reader who was worried he would be seen as “too gay” if he does certain things. Davey’s response was:
It’s not your job to shatter every stereotype there is about gay people.
He then goes on to tell the reader that he should put his energy into being himself, whatever that may be. It was a beautiful thought.
At the end of the night, several of us were sitting on my roof deck drinking beer with a straight neighbor and his friend. One guy in my group said that he didn’t think people should take their kids to the Pride parade because it would lead to awkward conversations. My straight neighbor challenged him and said that’s why people should take their kids to the parade. It’s an interesting question. How would you explain to a young child what’s going on? “Daddy, why is that woman not wearing a shirt?”
Here are some pics from the parade. (Click for larger versions.) The Festival was today, and wasn’t that exciting other than a delicious hot sausage sandwich (my favorite carnival/fair food). Since I’m trying to drop some weight this summer, that was a special treat. And I went swimming afterwards.
I survived Week One! But I was tired. I had Friday afternoon off, and I took two naps to recover. And it felt good. So far, Contracts has been the easier class for me to understand. The cases can be hard to follow because there’s often money changing hands in both directions, but the concepts are making sense. Torts is a little more challenging. I think it’s because he’s teaching the concepts in a more global way than she is in Contracts. I’m trying to trust in the process and believe that I’m supposed to feel lost at this point, and that’s ok.
I must be learning something in Torts, though. Thursday evening, I was driving home after school and Taylor Swift‘s song, “Mean,” came on the radio. I heard the line: Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me. I immediately thought, “That’s battery!”
Apparently, the first week isn’t just hard on students. It can be hard on professors. Here’s a blog post from Concurring Opinions.
I just got home from the trainer, and as soon as I can lift my arms, again, I’m going to start studying. Today, and probably much of tomorrow, is going to be a study day. Luckily, with Hurricane Irene approaching, there’s nothing else to do.
First we had an earthquake, and now we have a hurricane the size of Europe coming at us. Mother Nature must really be pissed at DC. Someone should explain to her that Congress isn’t even in session, so she should go after them in their home districts and leave us alone. But, I’m prepared. I have water in the fridge, 2.5 cases of Gatorade, food, a gas stove, candles, wine and toilet paper. I tried to buy a flashlight (which I’ve known I should have for a while), but Target was completely sold out! But, I guess I can study by candlelight if it comes to that. It worked for Abe Lincoln.
Actually, we should be fine. DC is expected to get 4-6 inches of rain in the next 24 hours, and winds in the 40-50 mph range. My only concern is the 5-foot-wide, windows in my apartment. My windows face North and East, which usually means I don’t even have rain blowing in open windows. But, the rotation of the storm is going to bring the rain in from the East. As long as the wind isn’t strong enough to break a window, I should be fine. So far, we’ve got nothing but overcast skies. I noticed that off to the East, it is getting darker, and the rain is expected to start within the next hour.
Hopefully the power won’t go out. I was hoping to watch some movies tonight as a study break. Hmm. Guess I should make sure the laptop is fully charged. Might still be able to watch a movie. Just thought of that!
Katie seems to be feeling better. She jumped up on the couch yesterday. That’s the first time she’s been able to jump up in about 2 weeks. She still slips and almost falls, if she walks too close to the edge. But, I guess the medicine is making her feel better. On a sadder note, when the time comes, I heard about a local vet who does home euthanasia. I may look in to that. That way, she won’t have to ride in her carrier, and can be in her home. And, I won’t have to try to drive home while bawling. But, hopefully that’s still a ways off.
The Last Harry Potter Movie
Tonight, I went to see the final Harry Potter movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2. I’ve been looking forward to it since I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which was about 13 hours after it was released. I waited to see the movie because I wanted to be able to really enjoy it. I didn’t want a crowded theater full of people talking, texting, or playing Angry Birds. I figured a Monday night at 9:40 would be perfect. And, I worked late tonight, but didn’t have anything planned after that. Perfect time for a movie.
I got there right on time, got my small popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, and small soda. (I won’t even go in to how slow the concession workers were. Let’s just say the guy in front of me got a free popcorn refill. That took almost 5 minutes and two tries.) The theater was about 1/3 full, which was more crowded than I expected, but I got a good seat near the back and settled in.
After 15 trailers ranging from “Happy Feet Two” to “Cowboys and Aliens” (I guess they weren’t sure what demographic was going to see Harry Potter.), the lights dimmed the whole way and the movie started. And a young child started cooing. WTF? I just spent $12 on a ticket, and $15 on snacks, and you’re little rugrat is going to ruin my Harry Potter Experience?
Who brings a young child to Harry Potter? At 9:40 pm? To a PG-13 movie? You must be a really bad parent!
After the kid kept cooing (at least he wasn’t screaming), the mother and the kid moved to the floor near the hallway from the entrance, but didn’t leave. At times, I could see the kid wandering across the middle of the theater (still wearing his bib). He was probably about 2.5-3. This poor kid. He’s going to need a lot of therapy, for multiple reasons:
- Your parents clearly don’t understand your needs, buddy. If they did, they would have put you to bed by 10 pm. I realize that maybe they couldn’t find a babysitter. But then stay home! Having kids changes your life. Sometimes, you have to put their needs ahead of your own. You can watch the movie on Netflix in a few months.
- The movie’s gotta be scary to a kid. There are goblins, dragons, people dying, Voldemort’s messed up face, snakes killing people. It is rated PG-13 for a reason. I read the book and knew how it was ended, but still found myself chewing on my finger a few times. Movies can scar kids. I know. I was older than this kid when I saw the movie on Bigfoot, and I’m still afraid of Sasquatches to this day. Luckily, I don’t run into them often enough to justify therapy for my fear. I’ve learned to cope.
- Your parents obviously have no manners. If they did, they wouldn’t bring a young kid, who can’t sit still (and shouldn’t be expect to) to the movies. So, they’re probably not going to be good at teaching you how to get along in society without acting up. Get used to the Principal’s Office. You’ll probably be there a lot.
I wanted to yell out, “You’re a bad parent” during one of the quieter parts of the movie. But I figured being disruptive might not be the best way to deal with disruptive behavior. And they left (or the kid fell asleep) about halfway through the movie.
The movie was awesome! You should go see it!
Bad Cellphone People
As if the cooing child wasn’t disruptive enough, the woman sitting next me left her cellphone on. I know that because it started ringing. She actually pulled it out, looked at the screen, and contemplated answering it for a few seconds before silencing it and putting it back in her purse.
I HATE the inappropriate use of cellphones. Humans have survived thousands of years without being in constant contact. You can sit through a 2 hour movie without talking your friends. (I always turn mine off, or at least put it in airplane mode. Vibrating phones are just as disruptive.) If she had answered, I might have been in the mood to take it from her and break it, or at least turn it off. It probably would have been worth paying to replace her phone just to see the look on her face. And I think I would have gotten applause from the rest of the theater.
When did we lose all manners? When did we decide it’s ok to bring your kid to an adult movie and just disrespect everyone around you? When did we decide not to jam cellphone signals in theaters? (I once was at a dance performance at the Kennedy Center. The woman down the row from me was using the light from her cell phone’s screen to write on a piece of notebook paper on her legs. She got offended when I asked her to turn her phone off.)
Am I over-reacting? Should I just give up and realize that most people have absolutely no consideration for those around them? What are your thoughts?