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Hilarious Blog and Book

A few months ago, I came across the The Bloggess, a blog by Jenny Lawson. I found this hilarious blog when I stumbled across her story “And That’s Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles.” It’s a story about how a fight with her husband over towels results in her buying a five-foot high metal chicken.

And it’s one of the stories in her new book: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. I pre-ordered the book on iTunes, so it downloaded as soon as it was released. I finally got around to reading it earlier this week before I started studying for finals. I loved it! And, based on the New York Time’s Bestseller list Combined Print and E-book Nonfiction for May 6 (It’s still April, right?), I’m not the only one. It’s currently ranked #1.

I won’t go into too much detail about the book, but I encourage you to read it. It’s a collection of stories about her youth, her current life, and her obsession with taxidermied animals.

It is hilarious. Several times I laughed so hard that I had tears rolling down my face. Some of my favorite lines include:

  • “Lisa giggled and stuck her hand up the ass of the dead squirrel.” in the chapter Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel.
  • “No one called me back, probably because none of them could find an elegant way to say, ‘You left your turkey baster in that cow’s vagina.’ ” in If You Need an Arm Condom, It Might Be Time to Reevaluate Some of Your Life Choices.
  • “Then one night we used the baby’s head as a bong.” (talking about a doll’s head) in Draw Me a Fucking Dog.
  • “Check your vagina. Does it look kind of broken? If so, you probably had a baby.” in My Vagina is Fine. Thanks for Asking.
  • “I thanked her, but explained that I’m not a hiker and was just looking around for dead bodies.” in I’m Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest.
  • “I countered that it didn’t seem ‘common’ to have to protect your dead dog by going after a vulture with a machete. My mom said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Where would a vulture get a machete?’ ” also in I’m Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest.

They’re EVEN FUNNIER in context.

So, go get the book and read it, and check out Jenny’s blog.

I Survived

I survived Hurricane Irene with no problems. We had lots of rain, and some wind. I spent most of Saturday studying, then took a break to watch a movie and drink some wine before going to bed. By the time I got up on Sunday, the rain had stopped, and by afternoon, it was clue skies and sunshine. My lights flickered twice, but the power never went out. There are a few trees down in the neighborhood, but mostly just small branches and leaves.

The earthquake was much scarier.

Washington College of Law is still without power, so there’s a chance my classes will be canceled this evening. I suspect they will have power by then. I’m also not sure there’s any benefit to missing class, as I assume we’ll have to make it up. I already have an extra class Thursday from 8-10 this week.

It’s going to be my first week with full-time work and class. That was my justification for skipping the gym and sleeping in until 6 a.m.